Today we didn't have school. But I did make a promise to come to FRCC today. Did I keep it? NO. Why didn't I keep it? Because I overslept. I stayed up until 3 o'clock.
You know what? I take full responible for being such a lazyass. I promised that I would come. But did I? No.
I have a commitment to Four Rivers, To complete it. Slowly but Surely, I'm coming to realize that I must have made a big mistake by siging up for IT. I thought that IT would've been Software. But boy was I wrong. And I have to take full responibility for it.
You see, I can't live like my father. It just can't happen. I can do better than him.
But I will not drop out.
I refuse to drop out. I Have comrades I can lean on.
I have Comrades who can teach me about the hardware. I just need to buckle down and get some of the shit I owe my IT teacher to him.
I also feel stressed out because my driver's test is coming up and I have barely even had studied for it. I don't feel like I have the right to even contemplate taking the test.
I feel like throwing up, and I haven't thrown up in along time. I don't mean a mini-vomit, where just a little bit comes out. I mean a full on stomach clearing vomiting happens. And It would probably would relax me.
I need to get a job and learn how to drive a car, just for me to feel like that I'm semi-normal with all the kids at school. GOD, I feel so inferior to them.
I love listening to Ultramagnetic Mc's while I'm stressed.
Maybe I should take a hot bath before I go to bed.